Tower and Town, November 2015

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When The Lights Go Out

On your side of the world, at the push of a button you can see; at the flick of a switch all your fears go away, huge arms reaching up to the sky and looking down with eyes of light. How could you be afraid?

On my side, it's dark. When the sun starts to fall you have to be fast, you have to outrun the monsters at your heels and even when you’re safe - you’re not. It’s like looking out through a window when it's dark. All your wildest nightmares come true through that window, and knowing they're not real is no comfort.

Our loved ones cry and scream and beg, but that won’t bring back the light. We can't help them. Not here. We can't fight back the shadows with torches or beacons. Here the night wins.

On your side it's day when you say it is and night when you demand it. Your chariots of light can find the way even in the darkest shadows and corners.

On my side, day is one world and night is another, you can’t be caught by surprise by the night or you find yourself trapped and suffocating. Your children could be a few feet away or worlds apart; how are you to know? There’s no point looking or shouting, the night has found its prey and won't let go. The only thing you can do is wait. That's the worst part. All the nightmares and horrors are out there in your mind and the waiting nearly drives you mad, makes you want to lash out and scream, but you can't make a noise, you mustn't make a noise. The night is a world of silence, a silence so horrible that it starts to buzz in your ears and send knives at your mind, but if you were to break it, the silence after that would be all the more terrifying.

On your side the shadows that scare you are controlled and shackled like a tame beast.

On my side the shadows are free to roam and have never known the feel of resistance, never been challenged or questioned. They come into our home, our mind, our family and what can we do?

What scares me most is when the glow of the sun fades, when the roaring of the light goes silent, when the darkness come out to play. When the lights go out.

Max Murphy