Tower and Town, November 2017

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My Dad Is A Vampire

My mum is the bravest woman in the whole world. I hate spiders and she catches all of them, even the big black ones with hairy legs. Everyone at school has very tall dads who catch spiders but my very short mum has always caught ours.

Last week we had to move house. I don't think Mum wanted to because she cried when she said goodbye to Simone down the road. I don’t mind though, because Mum said I can paint my new bedroom silver and I don't have any friends to say goodbye to anyway.

Janey Stepson in Year Six told everyone that my dad is a bloodthirsty angry vampire with mega fangs and nobody wants to come round to play anymore. I tried to explain that nobody ever sees my dad because he isn't at home but now everyone thinks he's even more of a vampire because I said that. I went home crying every night for ages because everyone used to push me in the playground and make funny faces. Mum got so mad at Janey’s mum because of that. She marched to the headmistress’s office and I heard her shout ‘this just isn't acceptable!’ exactly twenty-two times through the big wooden door.

I like our new house. Mum promised she would buy me some big pots of paint as soon as she had enough money, but for now we have stuck a few sparkly Christmas stars on my bedroom door.

‘Mum?’ I said, peeking round the door.

‘Yeah, Simone hold on,’ she said into the phone receiver and put her hand over the bottom of her mobile phone.

‘What’s up Luce?’ she said to me gently, holding out her hand to me. I grabbed it and pulled myself onto her knee, smelling her fluffy jumper. Mum always smelt like jasmine and safe places and warm hugs.

‘I’m worried about tomorrow Mum, I’m bad at making friends!’

She wrapped her arms around me and murmured, ‘I think it’s probably because your dad is a vampire with mega fangs.’

‘Mum!’ We both started to giggle. Mum really made me laugh. She always called me Trouble Monkey and sometimes she tickled me at breakfast and made me spill my chocolate milk.

I woke up to get ready for school and thought about Janey Stepson. I bet her mum isn't as good as my mum and that’s why she isn't very nice. My mum said that not everyone is brought up on the same advice. I’m probably nicer than Janey because my mum tells me that a cup of chocolate milk in the morning makes my heart extra kind. Janey once told me that she has porridge for breakfast. Yuck. Her heart is probably made of wholegrain oats.

‘Mum?’ I turned away from the car window to look at her.

‘Yeah?’ She glanced at me and then flicked her eyes back to the road.

‘What if this is a big school of Janeys?’

She sighed, ‘Luce, in this big bad world there will always be more Janeys than Lucys. That means that the Lucys have to try extra hard to smile when the Janeys try to make them stop.’

We pulled up in the school car park and Mum’s phone began to ring. She glanced down at her mobile and back at me.

‘Er, Luce I need to get this. Hold on.’

Mum picked up. ’Hello.’ She spoke in a frustrated, no nonsense tone. ‘No. Yes. It’s Lucy’s first day. I can’t. Yes. Nope. Bye.’

‘Who was that?’ I was confused because Mum usually had a happy phone voice; she always laughed and smiled when she spoke to her friends, she said she was excited to hear their voices. She blew a big kiss in my direction and waved me out of the car.

School finished at 3:30pm. I stared at the clock. 3:47. 3:59. 4:37. The time ticked past, like sea waves ticking and tocking at the beach shore. Mum…where are you!

Mum!

4:55. 5:01. 5:07.

Suddenly at 5:12pm, she ran through the door.

‘Where have you been!’ I shouted at her, tears in my eyes. ‘You scared me Mum! I thought you weren't coming to get me.’

‘Oh Trouble Monkey’ she sighed, ‘I am so sorry, I have something we need to do.’

At home, the moment I walked into our kitchen, something felt wrong. There was someone sat at the table who I’d never met before.

‘Lucy this is your…father.’

I gasped: he didn't have mega fangs. He had happy eyes that twinkled in the light and a big smile with pearly white teeth.

‘My dad?’ I looked at him with a furrowed brow. ‘You don't look like the dad in my head.’

He frowned. ‘What was I supposed to look like?’ Mum and I looked at each other and started giggling. I put my hands up and bent my fingers to mimic claws, opening my mouth and revealing my teeth, I narrowed my eyes and hissed.

‘You were meant to look like a bloodthirsty angry vampire with mega fangs!’ We shouted in unison, in fits of laugher. Another thing my mum taught me; when you are worried, laugh it off. My mum is the bravest woman in the whole world and she's always laughing.

Lilly Beveridge