Tower and Town, September 2015

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A Trip To The Beach

"July 26th, I knew it!" The Colonel waved his sabre triumphantly at the fridge door, "The outing is today!" Geraldine expertly leapt high over the descending sword. "Now dear. As you know, I am seeing the grandchildren. I have packed your essentials. Remember to take your pills at 12.00 and do please listen to Graham, the organiser, and keep an eye on Mr Thurleston." Geraldine knew that he had been looking forward to this for a month. The Colonel adjusted his pith helmet in the hall mirror, and straightened his khaki shorts approvingly. "Thurleston is a menace - and so are his beetles."

A horn hoot summoned him to the road outside. Clambering aboard for the annual OAPs trip to Bournemouth, the colonel glared at the coach community. “Back seat - the only place to have fun,” he muttered inwardly. He limped up the aisle to sit next to Ben the Butcher; past Mr Whistle, fast asleep; past Cynthia, asking Graham whether her usual bridge would take place; past 75 year-old Hyacinth, 'the Bluebell girl' with her encouraging smile and bikini, hanging on grimly to her body, beneath her dressing gown. Several “Morning”s later he sat down happily next to Ben. "I have a plan," whispered Ben conspiratorially. Fifty two passengers climbed down the few steep steps onto the promenade, or were carried down to their wheelchairs by their carers.

Graham outlined the day: coffee at TheOcean View Hotel, paddling for those who wished, supervised by Nurse Carol, and supported by volunteers from the St John Ambulance Brigade; a picnic lunch supplied by the W.I. The weather forecast promised sun, wind and high temperatures. As Graham manoeuvred the party onto the sand, he failed to notice two elderly gentleman setting off for the town at the speed of a Ferrari.

As the sea sparkled in the glorious heat of the day, the beach became crowded with eager holidaymakers surrounding the Wiltshire gathering with music and games. A plastic ball bounced off the head of Mr Claythorpe and was helped on by Mrs Trunswick on her mobility scooter. Graham made a suggestion. The following beach volleyball game between the over 70s and the under 14s was a hotly contested battle, and was filmed by a passing BBC crew. At 4.30pm, Graham thanked all and took a roll call. Not many answered: some refused, some were otherwise occupied, some found their names unrecognisable, some clapped. However, as the coach group put on their seatbelts, a singing duo came into view - the unmistakeable full figures of the Colonel and Ben the Butcher, and behind them a line of townsfolk, a moving wave of swaying children and adults dancing the 'Conga.' Bournemouth waved affectionately as the smiling coach drew away. One by one, the group were dropped off at their individual residences, but not before the OAPs unanimously cheered those who had volunteered to help.

John Matthewman